My husband and I are always searching for ways to deepen our relationship and feel close to one another. We have been through what I call "dry" seasons when both of us are feeling disconnected. There was a point in that season where we had to stop and ask each other, "are we going to continue living in this disconnection or are we going to do something about it?" So we did. We started off by just talking. One of the most important aspects in a relationship is simply just talking. We had to be realistic about it. We both understood that to feel connected again, we didn't have to over complicate things. Here are five ways that you and your partner can grow closer together.
Picture from Delaney Hady Photography
1. Keep phones outside of the bedroom
In our marriage counseling, one of the most profound words of wisdom we received was to remember that our bedroom was a sacred place. This sacred place should be free of distractions in order to allow intimacy to flood in. Our bedroom is our place of rest and safety. When my husband is on his phone before going to sleep, I am immediately turning to mine. We blew our chance to TALK and be intimate. I'm not just talking sexual intimacy. I'm talking about the "how actually are you" intimacy that only exists in a marriage. Keep phones in separate rooms. Invest in alarm clocks.
2. Take showers together
Yes, I know what you may be thinking. Showers, really? Yes, really. A place where you are forced to be without your phone and just with your thoughts. This is the best opportunity to be with your partner. My husband and I would consider showering together as a hobby. I must say, we don't take every single shower together. I totally value my alone time and I know my husband does as well. However, the times when we have showered together can be some of the most giggly and intimate moments in our relationship. Whether a shower leads to sexy time or not, it is one of our favorite ways to grow closer together.
3. Weekly date night
Okay, this is a big one. Each week go on at least one date together. It does not have to be some extravagant candlelight dinner by the lake, although that totally works. My husband and I have considered a walk to our grocery store a date night. The conversations on our walks are some of my favorites. One way a weekly date night actually works is if you PLAN it in advanced. Schedule out one day of the week to do something together. Mark it on your calendars. Do whatever you guys can to make it actually happen. In a separate blog, I will list out some of our favorite date ideas that don't require much money or planning.
4. Physical Activity
Our favorite physical activity together, besides sexy time, is our daily walks. As I mentioned before, the conversations my husband and I have on our walks are by far my favorite. Some days, we don't have much to talk about and that is completely okay. Quality time is at the top for my husband and I. I feel extremely special knowing my husband chose to spend his time with ME. To note, physical activity is known to decrease depression and anxiety and improve self-esteem. I know when I am in a good mental state, I am more present and committed to my relationships. I feel more open to connection and intimacy. Why not get active with your partner and invest in your mental health together?
5. One statement of thankfulness
It is extremely important to take time to express your gratitude for your partner. "I'm so thankful for you" is nice and all but it is not specific. Everyday, find one instance when you were thankful for your partner and share it with them. "I really appreciate how you fed the dog this morning without complaining. Thank you." I catch myself using this phrase often, because my husband is truly the best at caring for our dog. I know when my husband takes a moment to appreciate me, I feel seen and purposeful. Feeling seen in a relationship is one of the best ways to feel connected to your partner. Take time to recognize one another. It really does go a long way.
Picture from Delaney Hady Photography
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